When No One is Watching: Quiet Christian Leadership In Work, Family, And Crisis with Gerard Cascio

Leadership titles come easily; carrying them with integrity is the hard part. Many men look successful on paper while quietly battling fear about money, health, family, and the gap between public image and private reality. This episode sits in that tension and traces what it costs to follow Christ when no one is clapping.

Through stories from four decades as a dentist, husband, father, and grandfather, Dr. Gerard Cascio walks us through starting a practice in the middle of an economic crash, trusting God with a critically ill baby, surviving a surprise four-way bypass, and learning to put obedience ahead of financial gain. His journey gives us a clear, human picture of Christian manhood that grows stronger through weakness, not performance.

Tune into the full conversation as we unpack:

• How word-of-mouth trust was built through simple, personal care in a dental practice
• The spiritual turning point when he and his family surrendered their newborn’s life to God
• Lessons from a mentor whose everyday faith made Jesus tangible
• How mission work in Guatemala reshaped his view of wealth, gratitude, and contentment
• The heart surgery wake-up call that reframed calling, mortality, and daily priorities
• Practical habits of prayer, Scripture, and humility that sustain spiritual leadership over decades

02:45 Faith Over Fear: Starting a Dental Practice in a Brutal Economy

08:03 Growing Beyond Fence-Straddling

11:20 The Power of Attitude

15:15 Missionary Journey as Family

18:43 Growth is at the End of Your Comfort Zone

23:33 Money and Stewardship

28:37 Making a Difference at Your 70s

32:08 Surgery and Surrender

39:11 Godly Marriage: Looking Upward Instead of Each Other

42:24 Modern Leadership Confusion

48:51 Equipping The Next Generation to Stand Strong in a Hard World

06:18 “People will seek out personal relationship further than a relationship that’s you’re just a number… Treating people right is powerful.” Dr. Gerard Casio

11:23 “Attitude is everything… Watch your attitude, because it’s the first thing that people notice about you.” —Don Wood

14:19 “People nowadays are oversold everywhere. It’s all selling, and people just want to know that you have their best interest in mind.” —Dr. Gerard Cascio

17:55 “Humility goes a long way as far as Christian leadership.” —Dr. Gerard Cascio 

18:46 “Growth isn’t going to happen in the absence of challenges.” —Don Wood 

25:19 “You’re missing out when it’s immediate gratification. No one wants to wait anymore.” —Dr. Gerard Cascio

28:26 “I’m not fretting, not worrying, or doing something that does not make a difference. I don’t want to just occupy space. At 11 years old, I want to make a difference.”  —Dr. Gerard Cascio

34:55 “Life is essentially a dress rehearsal for eternity. You don’t treat it in a flippant way. Live it well.” —Dr. Gerard Cascio

39:32 “Behavior is the best gauge of knowing where someone is coming from.” —Don Wood 

41:04 “[Leadership] is not about being the boss… It is humility and being vulnerable and admitting your mistakes as quickly as possible.” —Dr. Gerard Cascio

43:34 “One thing you can do as a leader is spend just a few more moments hanging in there listening to that conversation without shooting out with an answer.” —Don Wood

Dr. Gerard Cascio is a retired dentist from Beaumont, Texas, who began his private practice in 1980 during a period of steep interest rates and economic hardship in the region. Educated in Catholic schools, he built his career on a deeply held Christian faith and the conviction that people must first know how much you care before they care how much you know. Over more than four decades, his practice grew primarily through word of mouth, driven by a personal, relationship-centered approach and a commitment to treating every patient as he would his own family. 

Gerard and his wife Brenda, married for over 47 years, have three daughters and a growing legacy of grandchildren whose faith and character are central to his sense of purpose. Shaped by his parents’ missionary work in El Salvador and Guatemala, he has instilled in his family a heart for service, gratitude, and generosity. After surviving a major four-way bypass surgery in his late sixties, Gerard’s focus has turned even more toward legacy, spiritual leadership, and investing in his family. 

Now largely retired, he spends his time caring for his grandchildren, supporting extended family, and modeling humble, faith-driven leadership with eternity in view.

Don Wood is the founder of Men’s Leadership, God’s Way, where he coaches executives and leaders to achieve clarity, confidence, and peace without sacrificing their health, faith, or family. Drawing from his own journey through adversity—including overcoming addiction, serious health challenges, and personal loss—Don inspires others to lead with conviction and purpose. His faith-based approach emphasizes transformation, resilience, and the power of vulnerability, helping men discover their unique gifts and live out their calling. Don is dedicated to equipping leaders to experience true success by trusting in God’s wisdom and strength.

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Welcome to Men’s Leadership, God’s Way. I’m your host. Don Wood. This is the place where men learn to lead with faith, clarity and conviction. Together, we’ll explore real stories and biblical principles to help you be a model of integrity in your work, family and everyday life. Let’s get started. 

Don Wood: Welcome back, my friend. Today’s podcast is a very special one for me. I met Dr. Gerard Cascio and his wife, Brenda, at a dinner meeting in Boston in what I can only describe as one of those moments that reminds you how God brings people together at exactly the right time. What began as a simple introduction quickly became a meaningful friendship that’s lasted for over 10 years. I can sense when a man has a deep commitment with Jesus, and it is obvious that this is woven into his integrity with the way he loves and serves his family. Gerard is a gifted health professional. And more importantly, a man of character who loves God. He’s a husband, father, grandfather, and an exceptional leader who understands that success without faithfulness is hollow. You’re going to learn how his heart for the Lord guides his life, and what it means to honor Christ in both your profession and your home. This interview is my gift to you, and I’m glad you’re here to be blessed by it. Let’s step into the conversation. 

Gerard, thank you for coming on to the podcast. I just can’t believe that it’s been 10 years already.

Dr. Gerard Cascio: It’s nice having that long distance relationship that has carried on.

Don Wood: And it’s amazing how here we were just sitting at the table, and we immediately hit it off. It was really great. We started talking about everything, including the Lord. In my humble but accurate opinion, it is one of the most important subjects that two guys can talk about, right? So if you would, Gerard, could you please share with the audience just a little bit about your background? Where are you from? How did you meet Brenda? How many children do you have? Just things like that.

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Okay. Well, I’m 70 years old. My wife, Brenda, and I have been married for 47 years. I’m from Beaumont, Texas, and went to Catholic school all my years, to all 12 years, all too boy. I’ve always felt like I’ve had a relationship with the Lord. Always felt like he was very real to me. I was thankful for the Catholic education that introduced and just carried me through the Lord in a special way, in a personal way. I began my practice in 1980. 1980, they were very difficult times. The mortgages were 16%, prime rate was 20%, I had to borrow money at 21% with no patients whatsoever. And like I said, the 80s was a tough time as far as being in Texas. Oil went down to $8 a barrel. Real Estate crashed. So again, starting a practice from scratch. And during that time, I just always felt like that. I really did not have that much of a concern because I felt like the Lord is going to if I do what’s right and obey what I’m supposed to do, that he’s going to take care of the rest. Brenda and I met in college. And once a month, we were part of a team that put on a retreat program for the university. And so we grew up in that environment. Learning about each other in a personal way, but also learning about the Lord, and developing a deeper relationship with Him through this retreat program.

Don Wood: How’d you meet Brenda?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: She’s my best friend’s girlfriend. I guess their relationship went so far. And then after that, when they broke up, we started dating. We have three kids, three daughters. And the best thing that’s happened to me is being a daddy. There’s nothing more important to me than family. Because growing up, I came from divorced parents. A great family to grow up in, and that’s what I’ve yearned and wanted with my family.

Don Wood:  Yeah. So here you were. You’re just getting out of dental school. You want to start a new practice. Tough economic times. You’re newly married. Did you have children at that point when you started your dental practice?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: I had it in two months. 

Don Wood: Now, with no patience, that was a big leap of faith for you. How did you get started? 

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Let me tell you what I’ve always believed. I’m sure you’ve heard this saying before that people do not care about how much you know until they know how much you care. That’s the one of the practices that essentially reflected my personality. A cold and uncaring world. When you’re like that, people pick that up. They sense. I always believe that people will seek out that personal relationship rather than a relationship that’s just a number.

Don Wood: Your practice grew then, I presume, just through word of mouth.

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Yep. Word of mouth. Like I said, I like to make it as personal as possible. I’d call and check on patients to see how they’re doing, and just treating people, right? It’s powerful. 

Don Wood: I’m wondering, who were the mentors that really influenced you early in your life? Where you started, you’re married, you’re a young guy. Now you’re married, you have a child. I always say to young parents, what did you do with all your free time before you had children? And now, you have practice, and it’s through word of mouth. Through the toughest times financially, you must have had some mentors that were giving you encouragement along the way?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Well, not so much Dental. Dentists that were mentors. It was more people that we met at our church, and there was one guy that stands out in particular named Sam Jernigan. He was quite a bit older than me, and the guy was just absolutely incredible. There was not a word or action that he performed that didn’t point to God. I said, when you meet someone like that, your first response is, this guy’s not for real. But this guy truly walks the walk, and talks to talk. Again, people picked up the love that he would display in word, words and action. We’d always say, you always hear what would Jesus do? Well, we would always say, my wife and I, what would Sam do? Not equating him to God, but this guy was a good guy.

Don Wood: How often did you meet with him?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: I guess about every two months, we’d have lunch.

Don Wood: So you have lunch with them. Was there ever a time where you were at an intersection where your faith was being challenged with the new practice, new family, and not many patients? Were you wrestling with your faith at that point with the realities of what was going on around you?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Never wrestle with my faith. People will probably say, come on. But I just never have that. I was pretty much a fence straddler. And as I grew older, I realized that you come into a deeper meaning and a more personal relationship with the Lord and what He expects of you. One early challenge that my wife and I had was when our youngest daughter was about a week old. She developed meningitis. She came home and we went to the hospital with meningitis, and with the prognosis that says it’s really bad. We spoke to the doctor, they put her in the neonatologist unit, and she had a 50% chance of not making it through. 70% chance of being deaf or blind. My wife and I, my mother in law and my mom got on our knees, and we literally, it was at that point that we essentially said, Lord, it is yours. Whatever way you want to have this workout, it was to that total surrender. That was very personal to me and helped me trust in the Lord in whatever happened in my life, in my business, or whatever.

Don Wood: Well, I’ll tell you what, the way you’re sharing the story right now, I almost feel like I was there with you. I can really feel it in your voice, because what a leap of faith to say, Lord, this is all yours. Rather than saying, this is what I want.

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Yeah. And let me tell you what the Lord did with her, she’s number 10 in her class. She graduated out of college in three years. She’s a great writer, a great mom, and she’s the smartest one in the batch so it’s amazing. If you don’t believe it, ask her.

Don Wood: How did faith then show up in your practice when you were getting patients and everything? How did faith show up? Where did your patients see it in you?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: There’s some days that you’re not especially excited about going into the day on this particular work. And for me, I would try to switch my mindset by going, I have the privilege. This is a privilege to be able to make a difference and not just occupy space. Being an influence on people with their health, but also with them on a personal basis. How many times do people get that opportunity and have that privilege to be in that position? And it just kind of totally changes your whole attitude that you go into the day with.

Don Wood: That’s a great point because attitude is everything, isn’t it?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: The older I get, the more I try to check my attitude.

Don Wood: Yeah. I always tell people, watch your attitude because it’s the first thing that people notice about you.

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Oh, yeah. And they pick it up. They sense it. You don’t even say anything.

Don Wood: For example, I went to the gym today and walked in, and someone asked me, oh, how are you doing today? And I said, grateful. I love that attitude.

Dr. Gerard Cascio: That’s powerful stuff. 

Don Wood: Were there moments in the practice where you were at a difficult crossroads of the realities of what was going on, let’s say financially or strategically in your business where you’re like, I gotta make this decision. Sometimes for some people, it’s an easy decision. Other people, they wrestle with it with their faith and the realities of what’s going on around them. Were there moments where you were challenged ethically, financially or relationally in the business?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: I think about it almost every day. You and I have decisions that come up that will test what you believe in and what your ethics are, but I’ve always tried to go by. And this is a thing that passed on to my kids and my grandkids. It’s like self affirmation. I want to plant it in their heart, and that is, I will obey God no matter what it costs me. For me, that speaks so much. And hopefully, it will speak to them and that will always be something that their dad, or granddad, or Papa told them. So to me, a decision that comes up, and I’m telling you, I have regrets. I definitely did not make all great decisions. But the gaze that I had before making that decision, if I felt like I could go to sleep at night in peace, then I feel like that was the right decision. Or at least the best that I could do at that time.

Don Wood: Yeah. Kind of reminds me what Charles Stanley always used to say, obey God, and leave all the consequences up to Him.

Dr. Gerard Cascio: No matter the cost. Because it’s going to cost them. I’m sure it’s cost me. It’s cost my kids and grandkids in the future, because that’s the way the world is.

Don Wood: Is there a situation that comes to mind in relation to what it cost you?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: At least me, personally. This is not anything derogatory to the profession. But a lot of times, it can be a member of a game, a production game. Every day, there’s things and treatments that people need or have choices. And to me, I think the gages, what would you do for his mom or dad? And obviously give them choices, but never tell them what to do because I think you end up selling something. And I think people nowadays are oversold everywhere. It’s all selling, and people just want to know that you have the best interest in mind.

Don Wood: And you know what it is, too. Authenticity these days is so rare. When you’re that way, when you’re genuine, people can definitely notice it. It’s a breath of fresh air for people. And that’s leadership, isn’t it? I always tell people that if you have to tell people that you’re the leader, you’re not the leader. And leadership is basically influence, right? How did spiritual leadership take shape in your family and in your practice?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Well, in my family, Mom and Dad were missionaries to El Salvador and Guatemala for decades when we were kids. I was fortunate to bring the dog and my daughters to Guatemala, and it was a neat experience.

Don Wood: What a great experience. Many kids can say that.

Dr. Gerard Cascio: I know. Like, I said, privileged and had the opportunities to do that with the kiddos.

Don Wood: The thing is too, Gerard, you’ll hear people complain about this country. But you know what? Whenever I meet someone that has traveled around the world, as much as there are challenges here, people always say that it’s a pretty good gig to live in the United States. And if it wasn’t, everybody wouldn’t be trying to live here. So what was it like for the kids to experience that and then come back into the United States? Were they grateful that they live in the United States after they saw the conditions there?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Like I said, we came home because our family did missionary work, and then they go and experience it, and they just develop the heart for people that were in need. They give their time to different causes.  And I think they see that.

Don Wood: It becomes part of their DNA. They don’t even think about it because they were so influenced by Guatemala.

Dr. Gerard Cascio: They don’t have anything. They live on dirty floors. And they’re some of the happiest people I met in my life. They’re not worried about the stock market, they’re not worried about the 401K. They’re very thankful. They come up there and hug you, and they’re always smiling. Their whole family lives together in this dirty floored place, but they’re happy. It makes me wonder, how rich are we? Are we really the rich ones?

Don Wood: I’ve heard that very often from people that do mission trips in terms of the happiness factor with communities, and the dichotomy that exists here. We would think, with everything that we have, we would be the most content. Here’s a good question for you. This is for a lot of the guys here, a lot of the fellows that listen to this podcast, what’s Christian life like behind closed doors when no one’s watching?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Well, you’re never really invisible. Someone’s watching, right? God’s up there watching you so as far as you know. Again, I’m telling you, I’m not a perfect guy, for sure, and have regrets.

Don Wood: I thought you were.

Dr. Gerard Cascio: You have to be able to sleep at night. And it’s not easy to be that leader. I guess what I’m trying to say is that humility goes a long way as far as Christian leadership. I think it’s all about humility, especially when you just wake up in the morning and be open. Have your ears open to what they’re trying to tell you. And in my opinion, I believe every single day, the Lord sends you a test. I think he’s doing it to be difficult. Some of these tests are self imposed. But a lot of them come from the Lord because I believe that He loves us so much. He won’t let us be stagnant, right? I think that he wants us to grow and stretch our faith> And I’m sure you’ve heard this before, true growth starts at the end of your comfort zone.

Don Wood: That’s right, because growth isn’t going to happen in the absence of challenges.

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Exactly. They don’t come in good times, right? In difficult circumstances.

Don Wood: What do they say? When things are going well, we tend to party. And when things get difficult, we tend to ponder.

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Charles Stanley says, when things become difficult, there’s dire times, he says, get your ears open. The Lord’s trying to get your attention. Stop speaking so much, and start listening.

Don Wood: That’s a great point too. Because I think when God initially approaches us, he wants to whisper. And then we don’t listen, so then he has to shout at us through circumstances.

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Yeah. Through circumstances. You want to be a quick learner.

Don Wood: And it could be a test like you were saying about, is it going to be profitable? Or is it going to be doing the right thing? If I’m in an intersection where, well, I really need this money to pay the bills this month in the practice, should I maybe suggest that extra procedure that they don’t really need? Or do I do the right thing and just trust the Lord in terms of what’s going to happen with my practice, with the finances?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: I guess I’ve always felt like he has your best in mind. He really does work things out, at least for us. We’ve been very blessed. And again, just being able to go to bed at night and sleep with that particular decision that you made.

Don Wood: And it sounds easy, doesn’t it? But then there’s the fear of failure of the practice, there’s the fear of letting patients down, and then the word travels like fire. Then next thing you know, you don’t have half of your base anymore, or fear of the uncertainty of what’s dead. How do you wrestle with that?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Again, I think it’s all about being transparent and honest with yourself, which means vulnerability.

Don Wood: Was there a time in your practice where there was a misunderstanding and you had to trust that the Lord was going to work out that misunderstanding, rather than rushing to try to make everything right? Can you give us an example where that happened?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: That can happen all the time. In dentistry, we want something to last for 40 years. Sometimes, things last two years. Hard on their teeth, and there’s certain things that happen. You just do the best you can, and you treat them fairly. Sometimes you have to say, okay, what is fair to them if I was in their shoes? And I don’t think you have many regrets when you do it like that. Doesn’t mean that everything works out hunky dory, but you did what Gods like. 

Don Wood: It’s funny. You’ll hear people say that all the time. You know it’s not fair. And I say, don’t go for a fair. We’ve been doing that since we were two years old. How’s that working out for us?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: When you receive it in, if you want to feel like, it’s possible. It may not be to them.

Don Wood: I remember one time that I went to my dentist and I asked him, why is my back molar cracked? And he said, well done. You’re 53 years old, and think about it. Bridges are made with cement and steel, and they start to deteriorate after 50 years. You’re made of flesh and blood. 

***Hey, guys, do you ever feel like you’re leading on the outside but running empty on the inside? Hi, I’m Don Wood, Founder of Men’s Leadership, God’s Way. I work one on one with executives and leaders who are ready to trade burn out confusion and isolation for clarity, confidence and peace. My coaching is designed to help you to lead with conviction without sacrificing your health, faith or family. So if you’re ready to experience the transformation you’ve been searching for, visit mensleadershipgodsway.com, and let’s start your journey today.

Don Wood: So having this practice and raising the family, how many years was it? Were you into the practice when you had all three of your daughters?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: All the kiddos in five years.

Don Wood: Were there any times where there was financial hardship for you in the family?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: I’m raised in the 50s and 60s, and our families were very conservative. You’re thinking, it’s all about debt. I didn’t go out after I got out of dental school and bought a vet or anything like that. I think it’s just being a good stewardship as far as what you have and where you are right now. Like I said, there was a month or two that was not so great when I was first starting out. But Brenda and I were both resilient. I said, just believe in the Lord that things are going to work out. Okay, it always does, doesn’t it? Obviously, don’t take from the Lord. Because what you can’t out, give him. At least I believe that. And I think He blesses you when you bless His kingdom.

Don Wood: Yeah. Sometimes, I’ve given messages on money. And it’s interesting, there are more scriptural verses in the Bible about money than there is about prayer or faith. God knew that, I say, listen, I know in my own heart, but I also know what God says is that he knows that that’s where the battle was going to take place with money. You know what I wish our educational systems had taught us growing up? It’s just the simple whole principle of compound interest. You imagine if we had learned that when we were in 10th, or 11th, or 12th grade? Save your money now. And how it’s going to compound 20 years from now, you will not be able to believe you know what you have in your account.

Dr. Gerard Cascio: And also teaching about, you’re missing out when it’s immediate gratification. No one wants to wait. No one wants to wait anymore.

Don Wood: Putting off immediate pleasures for long term goals, that’s the way I was taught. So here you are. You live in a beautiful place. You have a wonderful family, and had a successful practice. Are you retired now? Or semi-retired?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: I work one day a month as I go back to visit Brenda’s dad. He’s 91. And also babysit Madeline’s kids in Beaumont. So really, I am very much retired.

Don Wood: Yeah. I would consider that retired. So these days, when do you feel depleted spiritually? We all run into that, don’t we?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: You’re talking about it at 70 years old?

Don Wood: Yeah. I know for me, I’m 67 years old. I was just talking about this with my wife’s nephew today, that this is the first year where I am really cognizant of energy expenditure during the day. I’ve got to be really wise on how I spend my energy, or I simply don’t have enough at the end of the day. And that includes spiritual depletion. Run out of gas. I’m just wondering, what do you do about spiritual depletion?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: I think the Lord sends us dry times toward him, obviously. You really need to let him recharge you every day, as far as you spend some time with him. And this for me personally, and it took me, like I said, many moons to realize that I truly, at this age, really need to try to walk in the Spirit. And what I mean by that is all day long. I asked the Holy Spirit to guide me. I tell him that, today, I’m gonna have my ears open to you, and I’m gonna babe whatever the cost is. I don’t care what it is. And I’m not telling you I’m perfect, but I don’t have regrets. But when I do, when something comes across, and whether it’s something I say or something I do, I feel like the Holy Spirit’s there. It doesn’t condemn you, but he does convict you. And I think he guides you.

Don Wood: I like that a lot. Doesn’t condemn you. 

Dr. Gerard Cascio: In my thought, you’re thinking about things that are wasted time, whether it be politics, or whether it be about this person who did this or said this. I try to step back and say, is that a thought that’s a waste of time, a waste of energy? It’s about energy. When you’re talking about energy, I’m thinking, do I want to spend my energy today? What do I have for today that’s been given to be on? I wanted to spend it in a special way, on the way I’m supposed to. Not fretting, not worrying, or doing something that really does not make a difference. I don’t want to just occupy space. I want to make a difference.

Don Wood: Yeah. In terms of that, share with us, if you would, your prayer and your scripture reading life. How does that look?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Every morning, I don’t do it for a good while, but I get on my knees and say particular prayers that are honorable to God. Ask Him to guide me, and pray for again. Bottom line, you got to spend time with Him in order for Him to guide you through your day. That’s me, personally. And to do otherwise is vanity. Days become more precious when you’re 70. I’m in the 4th quarter, maybe in a two minute warning. I do want to tell you one thing. I think I told you this in times past. But at one point, I had to face my mortality when I was 68 years old, which was a couple years ago. My dad had died. Stroke at 68. Healthy guy. I worked out, danced three nights a week, had perfect blood pressure, took a nap, and never woke up. 

So 68. I said, better go get checked out. And they said, everything’s great. I had the EKG stress test echo, and he said, you can live in 95. So anyway, bottom line, my daughter talked me into getting gene tested. So I said, I feel great. I’ve never had any chance. Pains, work out a lot. Went ahead and got a gene tested, and it showed that I did have the gene that would set me up to be predisposed to a heart attack like 200%. And so I went to the GP, and he said, what should I do? And he said, why don’t you get a coronary artery scan? So I did, and they called me up and said, you have four arteries. Two of them are 90% block, the other ones are 70% block. So I went to the cardiologist and he said, hey, man, I know you don’t have heart disease. You know you’re gonna be fine. But if you want me to do a telegram, so I did telegram. I woke up and he said, you need a four way bypass. I could have ignored it. I saw it on the screen. There was no denying it. And it was that time that when you face your mortality, I guess I started thinking about, okay. If I can trust God with my salvation when I take my last breath on this earth, then I can trust him to see me through this operation. And if I go through the operation, then he’s not finished with me yet. So when you come to that point of facing a biggy like that, that’s when the rubber meets the road. You really want to have your ears open and listen to what God wants, and see what He has planned for your life.

Don Wood: What were you thinking through the whole process? Think about this, the Lord used your daughter to give you the idea to have that test.

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Run 30 steps a day about three times a week, workout with weights, and no pain, no chest pain. And my daughter’s, I tell all the time, she saved my life.

Don Wood: Because you were a walking time bomb. It was a walking time bomb. All right, so you have the surgery. What was the recovery for you spiritually and mentally?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Just really depending on him. As far as spiritually, it’s at that time you are probably the closest to God when you’re in that situation, and you depend on them. You probably never felt as close to him as you have circumstance. I guess I left it all to Him knowing he’s in control. I’m not in control. It’s a fallacy. It’s a delusion. He’s in control of the way things are, and great things are going to be.

Don Wood: As you know, I had open heart surgery as well. I remember laying in that bed. It was November. It got dark early, the leaves were off the trees. My dog had died the month before, and there I was. And you know what? God had me right where he wanted me one on one where he could speak to my heart, and there was nowhere for me to run, and nowhere for me to hide. It was the most challenging time in my life, but it was the best time of my life. I know because the Lord was speaking to me.

Dr. Gerard Cascio: I’ll tell you one, I won’t make this wrong, but this mentor that I was telling you about, Sam Jernigan, I tell you what type of guy he is. It’s a good story. The healthiest guy, took vitamins, was skinny and developed spinal cancer. He went through chemotherapy and went away. But it came back about six months later. And we went to lunch one time. This sounds crazy, totally crazy. And he said, Gerard, I woke up the night before after chemotherapy and suffering. And look, I’ve seen Jesus at the foot of my bed. And he said, this sounds crazy, but I am thankful I got cancer because I’ve never been closer to the Lord as I am right now. That’s what type of guy he was. 

Don Wood: Wow. And you believed him. 

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Oh, he was totally authentic. 

Don Wood: He wasn’t just making this story up. So what lessons about your experiences, like the health scare, building your practice, the challenges of running that practice? Let’s face it, we even have challenges in our marriages, right? I always say to people, you bring two sinful people together that probably came from dysfunctional backgrounds, and you put them under one roof. It’s going to be interesting. Let’s just say mildly. And so what lessons have you learned from your own manhood of navigating all these things in your life that you would want to pass on to your children? 

Dr. Gerard Cascio: The things I tried to pass on to the kids was that life is essentially a dress rehearsal for eternity. So taken in that regard, you don’t treat it in a flippant way. Live it well. Like I said, I just want to make sure I’m very deliberate in what I try to do these days. And I think my girls have taken that up. The kids, the girls are just very deliberate in what they do and the time they spend, whether it will be with their families or their leisure time. I think they try to make the most of where they are. 

Don Wood: I wonder about this, do you pray with Brenda? 

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Oh, yeah, all the time. In fact, what we do, we say this all the time. In fact, we did it last night. We’ve watched Chosen, The Chosen. We’ve watched it three times. We watched two of them last night, but we were talking about the difference that that movie has made in our life. It just made it much more of a personal way. In fact, every morning, my wife and I, we have a little Chosen study guide, and it goes over the episode. We do such a good job on the devotional book that they have and put out, and then we pray after that devotional time. So those are things that we do that you got to pray together.

Don Wood: And it’s made a difference in your marriage, I would imagine.

Dr. Gerard Cascio: There’s times that are easy, and there’s times that are hard. Both Italians, so it can’t be volatile.

Don Wood: I don’t know if you know Jimmy Carter. He did very well at Annapolis, and he ended up running the Trident submarines, and he’d be out to sea for like three months at a time. And he would come home, and he would start running his family the way he ran the Trident subs, much to Rosalyn’s consternation. And what she said to Jimmy is, we need to go and see a Christian counselor. And so what this counselor said to him is, Jimmy. 10 minutes every night, I want you to read something that’s meaningful to you from Scripture to Rosalyn. And Rosalyn, I want you to do the same thing for Jimmy. And then when you’re done, I want you to both hold hands and pray. And within three months, the marriage turned completely around. Well, because instead of looking at the marriage from a flat lander view, it was 3D. Because now, they were allowing God into the marriage. They were looking upward rather than at each other. Because I know for me, my wife can give you 5 or 10 reasons as to why she should say, okay, enough of this. But we both look to the Lord, and that’s what makes our marriage stronger. So what is legacy? When I use the word legacy, what does that mean to you? And how do you want to portray that in terms of what your life has looked like while you’ve been here before you go into the next life?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Like I said, I keep coming back to it. But I’d like to think that legacy wise, whether it will be with my kids or memory, just as far as being an obedient servant and doing what’s right no matter what it costs. I know I keep saying that, but just everyday living, it’s that choice. Cheers and righteousness, I think people see that. I also want to bring out, I think, in an unbelieving world, in a world that’s hungry and starving, for example, someone that their Christian faith makes a difference. I think they’re yearning for it. And I think whether they show it or not, I think they glory in it, but they like to see when our Christian faith makes an example. Give us an example during how we react in dire times, right?

Don Wood: It’s interesting. I used to work for this Japanese karate master from Hiroshima, and I’d be up at the front of the class with them, and while they were warming up. I’ll never forget one time, I was standing there with him and he said, you know what Mr. Wood, I don’t listen to what people say. I watch what they do. That behavior is really the best gage of knowing where someone is coming from. And I tell the guys in my men’s group, remember this, everyone is watching.

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Kids are watching. Your children, your patients, your employees, they’re watching you.

Don Wood: Your wife is watching you. Your neighbors are watching you. And I say that there is nothing more powerful for a man than for their wife to look through the hallway, down through the hallway, and they see their husband on their knees in prayer. Their hearts will melt over that, because they can trust you. Why? Because as men, we put our trust in the Lord. Because let’s be honest, if we were left to our own devices, what a disaster that would be?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Yeah. Our kiddos, every night when we put them to bed, we get on our knees on the side of the bed. I think that’s important. Hopefully, they’re carrying that with their kiddos. And if they’re not, whenever we’re in town, we make sure that we get on these with our grandkids.

Don Wood: That’s great. Because then when you leave, the kids will put the pressure on your kids. That’s a great strategy. Gerard, what do you think today guys misunderstand the most when it comes to leadership?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Probably, they don’t really take into account that it’s not about being the boss. It’s about, I think, humility, being vulnerable, and admitting your mistakes as quickly as possible. And apologizing and moving on. Sometimes, you can’t move on until you get around that barrier of not admitting mistakes. If they know your heart is right, if they know that, okay, you made a mistake, you said something, or you did something that wasn’t right, I think they can overlook things. You have that humble posture.

Don Wood: Yeah. I always say in leadership, I say this particularly to young guys, vulnerability is not only attractive on your teams, but it’s refreshing. It is because now, they can feel safe. They can trust you as a leader. So what do you think it is these days that we see so many examples of men that seem to do well publicly, but then there was a private misstep? What do you think is going on there these days with that when we see all the challenges today with integrity and leadership?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Again, I’m old fashioned. To me, when righteousness comes forth, it’s just exciting to see. I think it’s tough to walk the walk. I’m telling you again, I definitely have regrets about things, on what I said or what I did. But it’s easy for them to put on that facade of being above people. But at the same time, it’s an illusion because maybe they don’t feel that they’ve got everything under control, which is total illusion. They need to realize that they need God, their flesh and blood. And obviously, they’re influenced by the world just like all of us. We have to keep our eye on the price. 

Don Wood: So how can they handle responsibility, and yet, have that tenderness that’s necessary to be the best model for Christian leadership?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Well, it seems to me to be the best version of yourself. If you’re a humble person, then you’re going to probably care for people. You have empathy for people rather than just for yourself.

Don Wood: I always say that one thing you can do as a leader is spend just a few more moments hanging in there, listening to that conversation without shooting out an answer.

Dr. Gerard Cascio: That is gold right there. It’s real quick, especially guys, we don’t want to hear, I’ve got a solution for that. Let me tell you the solution. And being a listener is admirable, as opposed to always talking.

Don Wood: And that presence, right? And I always say the best model for leadership was Jesus. He had a ton of responsibilities, lots of misunderstandings from people, right? He was always on the move. But you know what? He was never emotionally dry, and he was never emotionally absent. And it’s because, in my opinion, he knew who he was, knew his identity took precedence over performance. And the question I have for you is, who are you in terms of your identity over performance? What would you say if someone asked you that question? Who is Gerard Cascio? 

Dr. Gerard Cascio: It’s a great question. I guess I’m trying to form myself every day as far as trying to follow the likeness of the Lord’s trying to make us into His image. That’s why there’s tests every day. And I guess I’m kind of, at this point, thinking about the tests that are going to come in front of me that confront me this day. I need to not be surprised by him, but anticipate him even embracing the challenges because I know he has our best in mind. I don’t know if that answers who I am. I’m just, like I said, somebody that is just trying to do what I’m supposed to do. That’s what Brenda and I always say to each other. At this point, we just want to do and be where we’re supposed to be.

Don Wood: Gerard, I just love the scripture that you’ve shared with me that you’ve anchored in your own life. It’s from Isaiah 40:10 where it says, “Don’t be afraid, I’m with you. I will strengthen you. And yes, I will help you.” Do you not perceive it? 

Dr. Gerard Cascio: That’s the line that really gets my attention. Don’t you see it?

Don Wood: And I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. That is such just a beautiful scripture to anchor your life on. So what would you want men listening today to remember when leadership feels heavy and overwhelming?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: At times that are difficult, keep your eye on the price. To me, it changes your outlook. It changes your perspective. And keep your ears open. If you have trying times, he’s trying to get your attention. And I’ve always liked the idea that I’ve always had this visual image that you’ve read or heard of, that every single day when you wake up in the morning, I believe God pursues you. Or just like the prodigal son. The dad, he didn’t chase, he ran to his son. To me, that’s a touching image that he’s not going to allow you. Don’t run away from him. He’s pursuing you, and he’s not going to let you be as you are. And I’m thankful for that.

Don Wood: Yeah. I love what you say about each and every day. Because when you look at both your situation and my situation, we face death, and we look death rate in the eye. But you know what? The Lord isn’t finished with us yet. I wake up in the morning and I say, I’ve got one more opportunity to get it right and glorify Him, and to spread the good news to the world. How do you want your life to ultimately point people towards God?

Dr. Gerard Cascio: I had this big burden, especially about my grandkids. I want my grandkids to be equipped and to give them everything. Obviously, I’m not the parent, but I just like to give them words of self affirmations, things that I want them to know deep down in their heart and not forget them, and to be the best version of themselves that they can be. I want it for my kids. But my grandkids, think about what type of world they’re going to be facing in the latter years. They have to be strong in their faith, and they have to be strong in their obedience. Like I said, just want to be someone that has the Lord’s love. And I can share with other people because He’s poured out, and it’s a mercy to me. I’m sure I don’t want to hoard it.

Don Wood: My friend, I think you are an exceptional model for that. I’m just so grateful to have this friendship with you, Gerard, and I appreciate the time you spent with me today.

Dr. Gerard Cascio: 10 years and about 2000 miles, maybe 3000 miles away, and I’m looking forward to you coming to Texas.

Don Wood: Yeah, me too. Two months, and I’ll be there. I’m looking forward to it. Gerard, thank you for your time today, and I’m hoping that you’ll come back for another interview podcast.

Dr. Gerard Cascio: Thank you. 

Don Wood: Thank you for spending time with me today on Men’s Leadership, God’s Way. I hope this episode gave you encouragement and practical tips you can use right away. And if you would, please take a quick moment to rate and review the show on Apple or Spotify. Your support helps more men discover how to lead with awareness, courage and confidence. And if you’re ready to take the next step in your leadership journey, you can learn more about my coaching services and resources at mensleadershipgodsway.com. Until next time, let God’s wisdom be a guide in every decision you make in your life.